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New Apartment, New Writing Routine, and a New Series Set in the Hemlock Mpreg Universe (A Rant and a Rave)

We can all bluntly admit that 2020 has been a fucking dumpster fire. It’s not just a normal dumpster fire anymore, it’s an f-ing dumpster fire now and it just keeps burning on. It burns on and we all try to live our lives just outside of the flames even if they’re licking us. I could go on about the political state of the US or its implications on COVID19 and all the dead people. I’m acknowledging all of that is going on and it just keeps taking its toll on all of us. I’ve often wondered how people did great things during horrendous times. I’ve wondered how they lived through everything history has thrown at them. I wonder about a lot of things and it’s why I write. This year, I’ve written a lot. When COVID19 started with the lockdowns I gave myself the job of writing more than ever for those stuck at home and needing an escape from our shared morbid and terrifying reality. It’s all I could do and in someways it’s still all I can do for my readers during this time. It’s a little job in comparison to the broken world, but it keeps me sane. I’m starting to think that’s the key to surviving history – somehow staying sane and fighting back when you can.

I’ve been careful in the past to keep politics off my FB page. Yeah, that’s ending. I mean, I know folks come for the books, but it’s my biggest platform and those of you who read my books probably know how much I loathe the current administration and what the future looks like if it comes around for another four years. I’ll keep saying it. I mean, shouting into the void doesn’t help, but it does weed out those toxic people and mark them. I think we need to do more of that. Politics shouldn’t be human rights. Those should just be in place.

The world is a f-ing dumpster fire and my life is no different. I’ve moved three times in a year trying to find the place my CPTSD is the coziest and trying to escape family who has abused me and attacked me and just made my life miserable. I’m in a new apartment. I’m excited, but not that excited. I hate living close to train tracks. I hate not having mail delivery here! Did you guys know that was even a thing? I live downtown of a moderate sized town and there is no mail delivery? What the holy fuck is that about?

So, I’m not optimistic. This is just another stop for me. I’m at the age where I want to put down roots, but can’t find the soil to grow in. I’ve been told I expect too much and want too much and have unrealistic ideas. Well, if wanting to live free from abuse in a house that gets mail delivery and isn’t shaken up like I’m the chicken in a shake and bake bag is too much to ask for, I’m guilty. I’m also okay with that.

During all the chaos of my move – I wrote the first book to a new series. Nope, has nothing to do with the chaos of the move. It’s set in Green Bay (Where my readers will remember Fred Moonscale owned and sold his nightclub, Glitter Bomb!) and explores characters not directly involved with the Hemlock Wolf Pack. After spending most of the year finishing that series I needed a break – a real break and am feeling creatively better while working on this trilogy.

So, I’m trying to avoid the flames of the f-ing dumpster fire that is 2020 like everyone else, but I’m keeping on. What else can we do?

Uncategorized

On Writing and Loneliness During a Pandemic

2020 has been a giant raging dumpster fire so far for most of us. I remember first hearing about the virus New Year’s Day. I found out sitting alone in my little apartment. That morning included waking up at a friend’s house where she and her mother both had Norovirus (that’s a stomach bug if you didn’t know) and being extra worried that somehow even though I left and wasn’t that close to them I’d get it too. I was listening to an audiobook (I don’t remember which one) and browsing Reddit. Yep. The first I heard of COVID19 was on Reddit. It was just a Chinese thing then. I remember how my anxiety surged and I told myself in my best self-parenting voice “They always do this. Think about Ebola. It didn’t come here.”

Now 8 months and 2 days later I haven’t been in a building that isn’t my home in 4.5 months. I haven’t hugged any body for at least that long. Not that I live around many people I want to hug, but even if I did – I couldn’t. That’s really messed with my anxiety, because I overreact, right? I make mountains out of molehills. Except this time – what I told myself was wrong. I know this happened to a lot of people, but it’s increased my anxiety – because the voice I used to fight nonsense anxiety off was wrong.

This whole year feels surreal to me. It came in with my friend’s Norovirus that ended up with her elderly mother in the hospital ICU. Then two tornadoes spawned within 30 minutes of me on January 10th. I moved out of the Midwest that same month. Then I got Norovirus here in February. That cost me a week of my life – mostly recovering at home from the dehyrdation. Then March came and it’s only gotten worse sense.

At the beginning of this I told myself I had a job. I had to keep writing – unless the world ended, the government fail, and the internet died. Writing books, social media, and blogging was my job. I’d give people stuff to read and escape into while they were stuck at home. I expected lockdown to last a lot longer. I know that’s a heated subject but I did and I wish it had. Maybe things would’ve been different and lives would’ve been saved. I’m not a scientist, but it just seems like common sense.

Now, the world feels more surreal every time I log onto social media. People are out and about. Not even always wearing masks. Some days until I talk to a few other friends who are doing their best to social distance and stay home I wonder if I’ve lost my mind and I’m overreacting. I look at the number of cases and deaths and remind myself I haven’t. That we are in the middle of a pandemic.

I have a few writer friends who haven’t been able to write a damn thing since this started and that’s okay too. This shit is hard and real and raw and I don’t think I know a single person who hasn’t at least known someone body now who’s had it. Hell, all but one of the people I talk to daily has lost someone to it. Myself included.

So, I write. I write because I want to give people something to read, I want to keep a schedule to keep my sanity. Mostly I write because what the hell else am I going to do?

Usually before I write a blog I have a plan for what it will be about. This time I only had a vague idea and it even derailed from there. Maybe I just needed to shout in the voice. Maybe someone out there is feeling that surreal feeling from being inside or so ‘socially’ distant from others while so many aren’t doing that and just need to be reminded they’re not crazy.

If that’s you: Hello! Welcome! Sit down. What are you reading today? Tried anything new since all the chaos broke out?

As always, stay safe and healthy out there.

Readathons

My Quarantineathon Readathon Week 4 Wrap-Up

I should be working on the cover or even the blurb for Sky’s Homecoming. I’m a little brain dead today. It’s been stormy this week and everything in the news just has me feeling blah. I’m ready for a do-over of this year.

Anyway, onto the reading and readathon. I really enjoyed this readathon and it’s easy pace. I completed all 4 of the weekly prompts and managed 11 other books this month too. (So far. Still have the rest of today and all of tomorrow left.)

This week’s prompt was to read a book about what you miss the most. There are plenty of things I miss, but I really wanted to read one of Jennifer Worth’s Call the Midwife books and I do really miss new episodes of all my favorite shows.

I read Shadows of the Work House this week. I enjoy Jennifer’s writing voice greatly as well as the historical attributes of her memoirs. This one was just heartbreaking. So many people lost so much or everything to work houses and unfair systems. Today, we don’t have work houses, but we still have so many unfair systems and so many problems.

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As a lifelong reader, I’ve long used books to understand the world as much as to escape it. This week I’m just a little down, because it seems the same problems only play on repeat. I’m ready for a vacation that I can’t take and more coffee than I should drink in a day.

I’m already reading Farewell to the Eastend, the last book I have left in Jennifer Worth’s boxset. Her voice shines through immensely in this one as well.

Readathons

Quarantineathon Readathon Week 3 Wrap-Up

This has been a slow reading week for me. I’ve been so busy working on Sky’s book (It’s almost ready for the editor! Finally!) I’ve only finished two books this week. Which I know is still good reading, but it’s been slow for me.

This week’s prompt for the readathon was to read a book about an essential employee. I was suggested a book by a friend. It was a memoir of a medical examiner. I was weary of reading it because I can be squirmy with blood and guts in a medical setting.

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This book did make me feel squirmy with all the talk of heart disease. Yep, it was that part that got to me. Not the horrible accidents or anything like that.

I found the writer’s voice enjoyable. She has a beautiful way of explaining graphic details in a way that’s both understandable in plain English and also sometimes entertaining. She talked about stuff tough she saw during her time as a NYC medical examiner and used humor at times to make it easier to swallow.

The most difficult part for me to read was the chapters where she discussed working as part of a team to identify bodies of victims of the 9/11 attacks. As someone who was a child during that time it was difficult to know more.

She handled other tough causes about hit and runs and helped the police solve murderers and bring several criminals to justice. She’s kick ass in my humble opinion.

This week the prompt is to read a book about something you miss the most about the before covid19 normal world. I miss my shows. I miss new episodes of Call the Midwife. So I’m reading Jennifer Worth’s Shadow of the Workhouse this week. I’m looking forward to it. It’s the third book I’ve read from her of the books which inspired the show.

Stay safe and healthy out there. I’m still enforcing my own rules with myself to stay home and keep any trips out as no contact as possible. Curbside grocery pick ups and saying no to all gatherings. This won’t last forever, but I’m staying put for now.